The Other Way

A post where in I grade "Connections Academy" for a child who is not perfectly average

2012-02-01T16:49:00.001-05:00

That about covers it.

If Anya was a perfectly average student with no excelling or weak areas and only needed flexiblity this would have been great. As it is, she's not. She's bored with the science, math, and language arts except in reading where she can't keep up.

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.

Winston Churchill

I guess its time to try something new.

A Little More Than a Year Later

2012-01-06T20:44:00.002-05:00

It's a little over a year later and I am starting to embrace the label. A year ago it was a dirty word, I hated it. Every time I say it I still tear up but it's okay now.

I am a widow.

Does it hurt any less? Hell no. Steve is missing so much and I am missing him. A year ago I didn't want anything to do with other widows but I am realizing that I can't do this alone. I am a SAHM, a homeschooler, a public schooler, a potty trainer, a full time student, and I am looking to add a part time job on to this. Along with all that I am still trying to find my new identity. Before Steven died being a wife was my identity, my entire identity, and now I am not a wife anymore

I said that I was working on a plan and I am. I have a short book list for next year, I am doing both Motivated Moms and an Organization Calendar to get back into a cleaning rhythm. That is going well so far. I think I am hitting that at about 70%. I also have a daily schedule for our family and a stricter plan for Anya's school, that I'm only hitting at about 50%, we are tweaking it as we go along. I have other goals but I plan on working on small steps. Once I get going at 90% on the two things I am currently working on I will add one more.

I'll get there, one step at a time.

Green

2012-01-06T15:04:00.003-05:00

Books to Read in 2012

2011-12-28T16:46:00.001-05:00

(and maybe start in 2011)

This is a minimum and it doesn't include books I am reading with a group. I really need to get back in the swing of reading regularly.

Plan

2011-12-11T17:43:00.001-05:00

I feel like I have achieved nothing this year. I feel like I have just made it through without crashing and burning to hard. I can't fit into the boxes that I have tried to fit into. Plan to come!

O YEAH!!!!

2011-11-01T20:42:00.001-04:00

This was a homeschool blog. *face palm

I decided to put my girls into public school this year, that didn’t go so well for Anya. She is now at home under hospital homebound, which is basically homeschool! Trinity on the other had has done really well. I knew she needed more than I could give her. At school she gets speech therapy and OT.

Anya is really far behind on reading so we are focusing on that. She is doing readingeggs.com, tickettoreading.com, Explode the code, and Phonics Road to Reading. She is also going through Saxon K at 10 lessons a week to fill up any holes that she may have.

I’m going to try and get Trin onto starfall and I’m going to start Letter Of The Week with V.

There! Homeschool!

Corn

2011-08-10T21:15:00.001-04:00

I found this picture and I started craving corn.

(click picture for recipe and source)

I looked at the recipe and was very upset by the fact that I don’t have over half the ingredients. This did not abate my craving and I have been watching way to much Hells Kitchen and MasterChef so decided to make my own corn dish.

I started with 3 pieces of bacon because I had way to much bacon and bacon makes everything better. I diced it up and browned it. After it was crispy I tossed in 1/2 a cup of diced frozen onions and peppers and 1 1/2 of frozen corn. I seasoned it with salt, pepper, and ginger. I tasted it and it was perfect. On a whim I decided I wanted creamed corn so I decided to over season it so the flavor would hold up to the cream. After I added more ginger I mixed in an 1/8 of a cup of flour to the mix so it will thicken up the cream. I let it brown to cook up the flour to rid the raw flavor. Once its browned I add cream bit by bit until it had the consistency I wanted.

Yum………….

Marriage Advice

2011-08-02T21:32:00.001-04:00

I was asked, along with some others, to write some marriage advice for a couple who is about to get married. I'll put it here too.

It feels odd being 23 and giving marriage advice but I’ll do my best.

The day I married Steven was the best day of my life, bar none. While I always knew I wanted kids, when they actually arrived I was surprised that the main reason I love them is because they are part of him. This lead to a natural order to my priorities; 1. God 2. Steven 3. the kids. While many people say I have 2 and 3 backwards I found that if our relationship was strong that the children’s needs got met without us trying. You'll be with your spouse for as long as you both live EVERYONE else comes and goes. Parents, kids, friend, churches all change but after God your spouse should be #1. Through 7 jobs, 7 moves, 3 kids, 8 major health issues, and massive medical debt, in 6 years of marriage keeping each other first after God kept our relationship healthy and strong. I'm not saying there will never be rough times; we had days where we could not stand to be in the same room as each other. We both wanted it to work and we both worked at it.

In the last months of Steven’s life we were together 24 hours a day 7 days a week and it took work but it was wonderful. Study each other. Aim to know your spouse better than you know yourself. Do something every day to let them know you care, even if it’s just picking up their socks off the floor. Be kind even if you don't feel like it. The energy you put into your relationship is what you will get out of it. Marriage is never 50/50 its 100/100. You never know when the ride will be over so make it all that you can.

Banana Nut Bread

2011-08-01T17:13:00.001-04:00

My prego sister was bugging me for banana nut bread because she can't cook. :P I like making sweet breads because, even though they take a while to cook they only take a couple minutes to mix up and (if you can keep the kids away) one loaf will serve up 2 or 3 breakfasts.

I used this recipe as a base. It makes 2 loafs, or so it says.

Original Ingredients:

2 cups Flour

1tsp Salt

2tsp Baking Soda

1 cup Butter

2 cups White Sugar (I used Rapidora)

2 cups mashed overripe Bananas (I just used 2 bananas)

4 Eggs

1 cup chopped Walnuts

Mix dry ingredients, separately cream butter and sugar then add the rest of the wet ingredients and the nuts. Pour wet ingredients onto dry and stir until just moistened. The original recipe calls for 2 greased and floured 9X5 pans but I ended up using 1 9X5 and 2 mini loaf pans. Bake @ 350 for 60 - 70 minutes (mine took 60).

Next time: Less nuts! Maybe half a cup and I'm going to try some whole wheat flour. I'm not a big nut person so if you are a nut person then a whole cup will be perfect. Plus I'm always trying to make things healthier so I'm going to try half whole wheat.

Patch

2011-07-22T12:41:00.000-04:00

You found me broken
You patched me up
You molded me
To your "greater good"

You sacrificed me
You burned my soul
You fed my sin
And you abandoned me

I need reshaping
You patched me wrong
I can't get back
Into the larger world

My soul needs saving
I've lost my way
Busted and broken
My heart turned dark

I'll push you away
I'll fix myself
You can't hurt me anymore
I'll make me right again

Standing over me while I sleep
Mocking me while I pray
Haunting my dreams as I drift
And now your gone, gone away

Just Don't Want to Write

2011-06-25T14:16:00.000-04:00

And by that I mean anything meaningful. I have a couple well thought out, important topic blogs half completed in my Live Writer. I just haven't felt like refining them to a publishable quality. I started school last week and Anya is starting July 4th. Trinity doesn't start until Aug 22nd and there is really no preparation on my end for that. I am trying to pound out as much school as I can today. I have been working for 3 hours and have 2 assignments completed (both 100% by the way :D). I Need to do one more to catch up but ideally I would like to do 3 more. I have until 8ish tonight when James and Sara show up to game. As of now my grade is my computer class is perfect and my American Government class is 97.84% (thanks V). Going to college while my kids are this small was never part of my plan. I planned to go when Trinity hit High School and take years to get my BA so I was set to start when V graduated High School. I would be 39 at that point which is about the age that everyone is switching careers any way.

Life is rolling with the punches.

On An Adventure

2011-06-11T17:51:00.001-04:00

(Wrote this a couple days ago, but was having computer and internet difficulties.)

Tomorrow I start a new adventure. I will be living alone for the first time. I moved from my mothers to my fathers, then I got married. I spent a month alone after Steven died but there was someone there with me every day. When I got to Florida I moved back in with my mother. This time I signed a year lease alone. I can’t beak it, no turning back.

This opportunity both excites and scares me. I’ve never developed as just me. No one to consult on “Do you like this?”, “Is it okay if I put this here?” and my favorite, “You want to do WHAT?”. If I want to draw zebra stripes on the wall I can, no second opinion needed. (Not that I would EVER do that, trees maybe, but no zebras).

The chance to set my own schedule is also vey nice. The only people who I have to consider when planning my day are my kids. Wacky work schedules be damned. No driving for 20 minutes to pick up someone at work at 9pm. If I want to get my kids used to going to bed at 7pm so they can get the solid 10 – 12 hours that they need at this age I can.

On the other hand there are the obvious safety concerns of being a 23 year old female living alone with 3 little kids. I know people do it all the time but something in me won’t let me forget that it is a little less safe than if I had a man there. Call me sexist if you must but even Steven, with his hulking 5 foot 11 inch tall 140 pound frame, was always a little braver and a little more aggressive than me.

One the whole however I think this is going to be a good move. The benefits out way the risks and I think this move along with Trinity’s special pre-K and starting college indicate that very pleasant chapter in our lives is about to begin.

101 in 1001 Update For June

2011-06-06T13:14:00.000-04:00

I’m going to do a 101 in 1001 update about once a month to keep myself on track and give y’all an idea where I am with it. NEW notes will be in purple (of course).

Jan 4, 2010 – Sept 27, 2013

~~Organize this list~~ 1/5/10

Financial

Take FPU class Started
Start Anya and Trinity on FPU Jr. Starting 7/4/11
~~Save $1000~~ 4/22/11
Pay off Debt Started
Save 3 to 6 months of expenses
Start College funds for all three kids
Invest 15% for retirement
Save half of a down payment for a house
~~Make a college plan~~ Starting School 6/22/11
Set Up a filing system
Make monthly menu’s for 3 months
Make a monthly budget for a year FAIL Starting over for July
Learn to cut my kids hair
Make $100 doing something I love
Donate $10 for each item I don’t complete

Creativity

Decorate my room and make it a haven for myself
Decorate the kids room
Make a doll house for the kids
Make doll house furniture for the kids
Get an apple computer
Keep fresh flowers on the table for 6 mo. FAIL Currently homeless
Make Christmas PJ’s for the kids
Make summer dresses for the girls
Make winter dresses for the girls
Complete a Quilt
Knit or Crochet a sweater for myself
Knit or crochet enough socks for myself
Blog 30 days strait
Complete a photography project
Draw weekly for a year
Paint weekly for a year
Take One stroke painting class
Learn to play the piano

Education

Complete 180 days of school in 2011-2012 year July
Complete 180 days of school in 2012-2013 year
Go to a home school convention and go to the talks
Read a NEW book a month for 12 months April – pictures of Hollis Woods by Patricia Reilly Giff May-
Read all my unread books
Read to the kids every day for a month
Take a writing class One of my Fall classes
Work though Algebra I With Sara
Work through Algebra II
Learn Sign Language
Learn to shoot

Health

Complete Dairy E-Course
Complete Fundamentals E-course
Complete Sourdough E-Course
Find a tea shop
Find local eggs
Find 30 REALLY good crock pot recipes
Grow at least a 6 sq. foot food producing garden
Make a family cookbook
Start a cheese book
Complete Turbo Jam
Take a belly dancing class
Take a yoga class
Wake up at 6am for 2 weeks strait
Work out 3 X week for 6 months
Use a Diva cup for at least 3 months
Get down to 180
Get teeth fixed
~~Learn about hair care and apply~~
~~Learn about make up application and apply~~
~~Learn about skin care and apply~~
Stop biting my nails
Get CPR certified
Beat 3 video games
Begin Meditating every morning
~~Get grief counseling~~
Potty Train Vincent
Take Trinity to a development specialist

Places to see

Go to Bryce Canyon
~~Go to Disney~~ 2/2011
Go to Genie Springs
Go to Savannah
Go to St. Augustine
Take a cruse
Take the kids camping
Visit 5 adult museums Ringling 4/4/2011
Visit 5 kids museums
Visit Indiana 3 times 4/29/2011

Family

Make daily rhythm and stick with it for a month
Stick to Flylady for 12 mo.
Print a picture of Steve to keep where the kids can see
Work on a scrap book every month for 18 months
Write about Steve for the kids
Tag all my pictures on Facebook
Start a hope chest for Anya
Start a hope chest for Trinity
Go through and Organize Desktop
Go through and Organize External hard drive
Go through and Organize Laptops

Spiritual

Complete a bible study
~~Find a church in FL~~
Read the Bible Plan starts July 1, 2011
Find a support group
~~Get a tattoo~~
Give a 100% tip
Go to the movies alone
Take a one week technology break

Before Bed Poem For My Kiddo’s

2011-05-17T13:28:00.003-04:00

(I did not write this!)

The dark come like a blanket,

Protecting us at night,

The moon shines like the heart of God,

Providing gentle light,

The stars call forth our sparkling dreams,

Like waves upon the shore,

To great the nighttime pilgrims,

As we journey through sleeps door.

I Want To Write Tonight!

2011-05-14T19:25:00.001-04:00

Sooooo….. I want to write! I got to play WOW for the first time in FOREVER tonight and now I am relaxing, watching Ryan kill people in his game, while I enjoy a nice Bacardi Silver Lemonade. I am happier than I have been in a while. I NEED to do the things I enjoy and one of the easiest, mindless things I enjoy is World of Warcraft.

I enjoy sewing, reading, drawing, writing, and other intellectual pursuits BUT they are intellectual. They take brain power and to be honest a lot of the time I DON’T HAVE IT! I am tired. My day drains the hell out of me. WOW is almost completely mindless for me.

Something about that game hits me like no other has. I LOVE WOW. I don’t think I have ever said that about another game. I like Final Fantasy, I like Devil May Cry, I like Ryan’s shooters. I FREKIN’ LOVE WOW!

Okay it’s official. I am a nerd, geek, what ever you want to call it. I admit it. Nanner nanner. BTW LOVE “The Guild”! YouTube it!

Creative Writing 1 - Assignment inspired by Pictures of Hollis Woods by Patrica Reilly Giff

2011-05-01T17:21:00.000-04:00

There's a picture hidden in a closet, under a pile of storagie stuff, in a box. It's a man and a woman holding a little baby. They are all dressed festively and in the background is a heavily decorated Christmas tree. I don't remember the day this picture was taken only the countless hours I spent staring at it. My Mother and Father with me, all together, looking happy. It's the only one I have. To me it represented hope. Not hope that I would ever have a whole unbroken family for myself but, hope that I could build one for my own children. Sadly it didn't come true. The family I created for my children is broken and I can't fix it, all the super glue in the world won't bring their Father back. Maybe a Step-Father someday but that is just a band aid. No matter how wonderful a man I find he will never quite fit. His past and personality will not replace the unique hole Steven left in our family. When they are older they will have their own photographs, bent and faded, hidden in their rooms. Their own hope that just maybe the family they build will break the cycle.

Detox

2011-04-19T20:15:00.000-04:00

I've had to pump a bunch of chemicals into my body lately. My body is all sorts of messed up. The only way I know to fix it is a fast. The required medication stops Friday so I'll start my pre-fast diet on Saturday.

Pre-Fast
Saturday 4/23/11
Breakfast- fresh fruit
Lunch- Raw Veggies
Dinner- Salad

Sunday 4/24/11
Only water and Apples or Grapes (which ever is available and appealing)

Monday 4/25/11 - Sunday 5/1/11
Water and Juice only, I'm going to attempt to only do water but realistically I know that is unlikely as I am going to have to continue my daily work.

Monday 5/2/11
Add in Broths

Tuesday 5/3/11
Add in brown rice

Wednesday 5/4/11
Eat with the family

Just an Update

2011-01-21T22:02:00.001-05:00

I have been writing I promise, just not stuff I want to post on a public blog. I’ve been writing everything from memories of the past to hopes and dreams for the future. I’ve had unexpected drama pop up in my face and dealt with it quietly.

I feel a sense of calm, peace, and resolve has settled in my soul. My life will continue through all the obstacles and when I felt as though I had lost my way, God placed someone in my life to guide me back.

As I sit here in my empty apartment with children sleeping on the floor and no prospect of seeing my stuff for two weeks, I’m okay. I’m happy even. Now, more than ever, I know I’m doing the right thing. I’m looking forward to my tomorrows and know they will be mostly good days.

Back to the life I love. Caring for my children, homeschooling, cooking, reading, and maybe even a husband again some day.

Daily Grind

2011-01-18T19:49:00.001-05:00

Until he was gone I never realized how much Steve helped by not helping. Just the presence of another adult helped keep the kids under control. It kept them distracted and gave them another adult to go “I’m hungery”, “I’m thirsty”, “I gotta go potty”, “Mommy, Ummmm…………….” “What?” “I love you”.

I was always tired before but now I don’t know how many more days I can go without a rest. Night is not even a rest anymore. Vincent is not only teething but he has a runny nose to go along with it. During the day there is always laundry to be folded, toys to pick up, noses to wipe, and meals to cook. The blessed 6pm when Daddy comes home and the kids swamp him and give you 2 minutes peace never comes.

I received a bit of advice recently from someone who has BTDT(Been there done that). When you are parenting alone you need to teach your kids about personal space earlier. A small child’s smothering love is easily spread between two parents but when there is suddenly one less parent to hang on, times three, it can drive you batty. He did admit it takes time and doesn’t help much with the under 2 crowd but just a little time and a little space can do wonders towards keeping you from resenting your children.

Limbo

2011-01-17T15:50:00.001-05:00

So, to start with. I did write a blog post yesterday but, after it was done I decided I didn’t want to share it publicly.

I’ve got 7 days left in Indiana and 8 before I get back to Florida. I am about 95% packed and today I’m going to finish. I have people coming over every day but Tuesday I think. I wish I could just leave now. I’m ready. I hate sitting in limbo waiting for someone else, in this case the truck. I guess really it was more of a matter of waiting for money to pay the truck.

It not that I want to leave Indiana, it’s that I hate sitting in limbo. I could be out of here tomorrow. I want a home. My home was Steve, he made my homes homey. Now it’s just a shitty apartment. Sunday can’t come soon enough.

Meds

2011-01-15T06:45:00.000-05:00

Today I turned Steven’s medication in to his doctor for safe disposal. That was an odd feeling. It was a HUGE relief, I am so tired of sorting out 15 to 20 different pills at ever changing doses. On the other hand it has been a big part of my life the past 6 years and dropping them off brought a tear to my eye. In the 2 seconds that the box was in both my hands and the receptionist’s, who we had come to know so well, all the hours hunched over the tiny pills, all the pain and discomfort I had caused Steve with the injections and the flushes, and all the anguish over what these toxins where doing to him and what would happen if he didn’t have them, lifted from me.

It didn’t go to her, I doubt she even noticed my hesitation. It didn’t go to God, there was nothing to hand to him. I was just over, gone and that more than anything else has brought a sense of closer. He’s not sick anymore. No more tears that he hid from everyone, no more despair at missing out while he was at the hospital, no more pain that he carried so strongly. He is better now and maybe, in heaven, he’ll finally be able to put on a little weight.

Laundry

2011-01-14T12:51:00.001-05:00

Torment pain anguish

Fold press repeat fold press flat

Wise monotoney

So how is a widow suppose to act anyway?

2011-01-13T06:45:00.000-05:00

In biblical times a widow was often married off to a brother of her late husbands to keep the wealth in the family… Nah, no real wealth to protect.

In earlier European societies widow’s often took up their husbands trade as a means to support themselves…. some how I don’t see myself changing tires at Wal-Mart.

In the pre-Civil War south a widow was destined to be alone and in morning for the rest of their life…. not for me either.

The only modern article I have found written about or by some one my age being widowed was written by a woman who, in the 13 months after her husbands death, slept with 27 men… I doubt that even if I didn’t have 3 children to set examples for I would go this route to “healing” (and she was a catholic, too!).

It seems that young widows today are “alone”. In this time of regular divorce and never married single moms everywhere we are expected to pick up and carry on just like the women who chose to go it alone and we don’t have the support systems that are in place for victims of abuse. We have to forge our own way and cope the best we can as we scrape together what is left of our former lives for ourselves and our children.

The average modern widow under 30 remarries in two and a half years and almost all are remarried with in 5 years. Is this what my future holds? I plan on moving back to Indiana in 5 years. Will I find someone to go with me or will that fact stop me for marrying until I come back? I don’t want to be alone. I’m not good alone but, I don’t want to marry some jack ass out of fear of being alone. I do see remarriage in my future which brings up yet another topic, dating!

I do not want to date. I have never “dated”. Steve was my friend before he was my boyfriend and the dating started naturally. I’m lost in this world of eHarmony and match.com. Clubs, bars, and awkward first dates are WAY out of my comfort zone. Maybe I should just pray that I’ll get lucky again and find another really good friend.

Log of a Single Mom’s First Attempt to Shower Alone

2011-01-12T06:45:00.000-05:00

Decide to attempt to take a full shower alone at all cost.
Realize that 14 month old has a stuffy nose and is going to require extra work tonight to get to sleep.
Spend almost an hour getting said baby to sleep.
Get baby down and get in the shower.
Brush teeth
Put face scrub on face.
Get out of shower and spend 45 minutes getting baby back to sleep.
Wash off face scrub that is currently burning.
Shave
Get out of shower and spend 20 minutes getting baby back to sleep.
Wash hair
Get bad vibe and go out to check on baby.
Put baby back on bed. He was hanging half off.
Soap up, rinse off, dry off.
Wonder if it was worth it.

I haven’t decided yet.

Grief

2011-01-11T20:50:00.002-05:00

I have been doing a lot of research into grief this past week. Is what I feel normal? Why am I not sadder? I’m sad yes, there’s a huge hole in my chest but at the same time I’m sure the worst is over. What I learned was that death of a loved on after a terminal illness is a lot different than a sudden death. Steve death was only sudden to an extent. We knew he was dying, we knew it would be sudden, but we thought he had a few more years left.

I’m recovering so fast because I’ve been grieving for six months or more. First was the numbness “I’m going to be a widow before I’m 30” then the paralyzing grief where I couldn’t make a single decision, then we both came to accept it and make the best of what we had left.

And in these past 17 days I’ve gone through it all again only in high speed. It’s like my mind had already started building the structure for me to cope with this. It just needed some finishing touches. So am I “over” Steve? No, I doubt I ever will be “over” him. He is the love of my life, father of my children, and the best friend I could ever have. I feel his absence is a very physical way every single day but, I do now believe life will go on and I will be happy again.

Dipped Cone

2011-01-10T06:45:00.000-05:00

That’s how I feel right now. I panic when the crisis is over and in one way it is. The funeral is over, I’m packed, the kids aren’t crying at the drop of a hat. In another way it never will be over. Steve is never coming back and I have a feeling that even if someday I do find love again I will never be truly whole. I have a thin little shell that is holding me together, allowing me to continue and to carry on. The only problem is that cracks keep forming in that shell. My pain and sorrow seeps out through these cracks and smacks those around me in the face. It seeps out in tears and it seeps out in anger. To bad its not vanilla ice cream.

Dreams for Our Children

2011-01-09T06:45:00.000-05:00

I started reading yet another book on education today and it began with the question “What do you want your children to be?”. It didn’t mean doctor or lawyer, it meant peon, professional, or leader. But, it got me thinking. What do I really want for my children?

For my girls; I want them to be well rounded women. I want them to be tender, strong, determined, smart, educated, witty, charming, and sweet. I want them to be able to change a tire and know when to stand sweetly faking ignorance. I want them to be able to become a president or a CEO and switch to classic southern belle as the need arises.

For my son; I want a strong sensitive man. I want him to be strong, independent, caring, loving, educated, funny, and a team player. I want him to fit in with the guys and know when to hold his wife. I want him to be able to lead his family and guide his children with a firm and tender hand.

The hardest part is I guess I have to teach them all this. :/

Building a Habit

2011-01-08T06:45:00.000-05:00

(Random photo of baby V that has nothing to do with this post)

A lot of my goals have to do with building habits. Stick with flylady, write daily, draw daily. It’s funny that today on my pastor blog he posted on how a writer must write everyday. I had planned on writing about habits today. I would like to expand on that. I think you must touch every part of your self every day. To be a good mom you must really connect with the mother in you every day, to be a good wife you must connect with that desire every day. Reading, math, art, music, love, hate. To do any of these things well requires you to connect with it consistently. The more days in a row I go being angry at the kids the easier it is but, if I make it a habit to be tender every day that becomes easier. All of our lives is a series of habits. Which ones will you choose?

The Organized List

2011-01-07T06:45:00.000-05:00

Jan 4, 2010 – Sept 27, 2013

~~Organize this list~~ 1/5/10

Financial
Donate $10 for each item I don’t complete
Invest 15% for retirement
Learn to cut my kids hair
Make $100 doing something I love
Make a college plan
Make a monthly budget for a year
Make monthly menu’s for 3 months
Pay off Debt
Save 1000
Save 3 to 6 months of expenses
Save half of a down payment for a house
Set Up a filing system
Start Anya and Trin on FPU Jr.
Start College funds for all three kids
Take FPU class

Creativity
Blog 30 days strait
Complete a photography project
Complete a Quilt
Decorate my room and make it a haven for myself
Decorate the kids room
Draw weekly for a year
Get an apple computer
Keep fresh flowers on the table for 6 mo.
Knit or Crochet a sweater for myself
Knit or crochet enough socks for myself
Learn to play the piano
Make a doll house for the kids
Make Christmas PJ’s for the kids
Make doll house furniture for the kids
Make summer dresses for the girls
Make winter dresses for the girls
Paint weekly for a year
Take One stroke painting class

Education
Complete 180 days of school in 2011
Complete 180 days of school in 2012
Go to a home school convention and go to the talks
Learn Sign Language
Learn to shoot
Read a NEW book a month for 12 months
Read all my unread books
Read to the kids every day for a month
Take a writing class
Work though Algebra I
Work through Algebra II

Health
Beat 3 video games
Begging Meditating every morning
Complete Dairy E-Course
Complete Fundamentals E-course
Complete Sourdough E-Course
Complete Turbo Jam
Find 30 REALLY good crock pot recipes
Find a tea shop
Find local eggs
Get CPR certified
Get down to 180
Get grief counseling
Get teeth fixed
Grow at least a 6 sq. foot food producing garden
Learn about hair care and apply
Learn about make up application and apply
Learn about skin care and apply
Make a family cookbook
Potty Train Vincent
Start a cheese book
Stop biting my nails
Take a belly dancing class
Take a yoga class
Take Trinity to a development specialist
Use a Diva cup for at least 3 months
Wake up at 6am for 2 weeks strait
Work out 3 X week for 6 months

Places to see
Go to Bryce Canyon
Go to Disney
Go to Genie Springs
Go to Savannah
Go to St. Augustine
Take a cruse
Take the kids camping
Visit 5 adult museums
Visit 5 kids museums
Visit Indiana 3 times

Family
Go through and Organize Desktop
Go through and Organize External hard drive
Go through and Organize Laptops
Make daily rhythm and stick with it for a month
Print a picture of Steve to keep where the kids can see
Start a hope chest for Anya
Start a hope chest for Trinity
Stick to Flylady for 12 mo..
Tag all my pictures on Facebook
Work on a scrap book every month for 18 months
Write about Steve for the kids

Spiritual
Complete a bible study
Find a church in FL
Find a support group
Get a tattoo
Give a 100% tip
Go to the movies alone
Read the Bible
Take a one week technology break

Food

2011-01-06T06:45:00.000-05:00

Eating holds no interest to me. So far today I’ve had a can of Vanilla Coke and 1 slice of Roast Beef. I try and eat a normal amount of food at dinner just because I know I should but every time I force myself to eat I get sick. I understand the response. I don’t want to be here anymore, most of my heart left with Steven. The pieces that are left are my children's. I know Steve wouldn’t want me to give up but my emotions, and apparently my stomach, are not attached to the rational center of my brain.

2011-01-05T06:45:00.000-05:00

I just want you to hold me when the nightmares come,

But you’re my nightmare now.

I just want your shoulder to cry on,

But now my tears are for you.

I just want to feel you close to me,

But all I have left of you is this hole in my chest.

Goals

2011-01-04T06:45:00.000-05:00

I am very list oriented and I’m scared that I may spend the next year or two in a haze. I am hoping that if I have some goals it will help. So! Here’s my 101 things to do in 1001 days.

101 in 1001

Save $1000
Pay off Debt
Save 3 to 6 months of expenses
Invest 15% for retirement
Take FPU class
Start Anya and Trin on FPU Jr.
Save half of a down payment for a house
Start College funds for all three kids
Get down to 180
Work out 3 X week for 6 months
Get teeth fixed
Learn about skin care and apply
Learn about hair care and apply
Learn about make up application and apply
Complete a Quilt
Make Christmas PJ’s for the kids
Complete Fundamentals E-course
Complete Sourdough E-Course
Complete Dairy E-Course
Work though Algebra I
Work through Algebra II
Take a writing class
Blog 30 days strait
Go to Disney
Go to St. Augustine
Go to Savannah
Go to Genie Springs
Read to the kids every day for a month
Complete 180 days of school in 2011
Complete 180 days of school in 2012
Paint weekly for a year
Draw weekly for a year
Get CPR certified
Go to a home school convention and go to the talks
Visit Indiana 3 times
Tag all my pictures on Facebook
Write about Steve for the kids
Knit or Crochet a sweater for myself
Make a doll house for the kids
Make doll house furniture for the kids
Knit or crochet enough socks for myself
Decorate my room and make it a haven for myself
Read the Bible
Read a NEW book a month for 12 months
Grow at least a 6 sq. foot food producing garden
Learn to shoot
Complete a bible study
Get grief counseling
Start a hope chest for Anya
Start a hope chest for Trinity
Potty Train Vincent
Take Trinity to a development specialist
Work on a scrap book every month for 18 months
Find a church in FL
Stick to Flylady for 12 months
Complete Turbo Jam
Learn to cut my kids hair
Find local eggs
Find a tea shop
Start a cheese book
Keep fresh flowers on the table for 6 months
Print a picture of Steve to keep where the kids can see
Make daily rhythm and stick with it for a month
Make a monthly budget for a year
Make monthly menu’s for 3 months
Set Up a filing system
Go through and Organize Laptops
Go through and Organize Desktop
Go through and Organize External hard drive
Begin Meditating every morning
Read all my unread books
Wake up at 6am for 2 weeks strait
Take the kids camping
Make a family cookbook
Stop biting my nails
Get a tattoo
Go to Bryce Canyon
Make summer dresses for the girls
Make winter dresses for the girls
Take a one week technology break
Take a cruse
Take a belly dancing class
Take a yoga class
Take One stroke painting class
Decorate the kids room
Learn to play the piano
Find a church
Beat 3 video games
Make $100 doing something I love
Visit 5 kids museums
Visit 5 adult museums
Use a Diva cup for at least 3 months
Make a college plan
Complete a photography project
Get an apple computer
Learn Sign Language
Give a 100% tip
Go to the movies alone
Find 30 REALLY good crock pot recipes
Donate $10 for each item I don’t complete
Organize this list

Self Care

2011-01-03T06:45:00.000-05:00

The thought heavy on my heart lately is that I am my kids only parent left. I am their only example of who to become and I don’t have anyone to balance my faults. Where are they going to learn responsibility? Me. Self care? me. Perseverance? Drive? Loving? Caring? Charity? Hope? Me, me, me. I am in no way saying that they will have no other adults to help be examples but they are my children and in the end are my responsibility. It is an awesome and humbling thought. How can I give these kids the example of a competent adult by myself? I have a lot of work to do on myself.

With Regards to School….

2011-01-02T06:45:00.000-05:00

Well the unofficial break we have been on sense Steve got sick has been made official. We are not starting back up school for “real” until after the move back to Florida. Not only do I have less than 30 day to pack and move but we have dentist appointments and all the paperwork that goes along this the death of a spouse. Anya is a very cleaver little girl and I have the utmost confidence she will “catch up” with her peers in no time.

Our lessons for now are on dealing with loss and change in a healthy way.

New Year, Fresh Start?

2011-01-01T06:45:00.000-05:00

The new year has always exited me. The fresh slate, the clean calendar, the hope of change. This year will be different. Instead of a clean slate there is a sickening divide on Christmas day. It was my husband’s last day here on earth with us.

While everyone is making resolutions to loose weight and be more organized I have a completely different goal. I will keep what is left of my family together. My kids lost their father and I’ll be damned if they loose me too.

Keeping the above in mind, my New Years Resolutions

Make time to be sad, I can’t always be the rock
Find something everyday to make me smile, my life isn’t over
Keep drawing, it helps me cope
Keep writing, same with this
Begin writing about Steve so the kids can get to know him when they are older.

Oops…. This is a school blog!

2010-11-15T13:34:00.000-05:00

As was recently pointed out to me, this was suppose to be a home school blog. I counter that homeschooling is about real life and that Steven’s health has been more pressing as of late. As for academia, yes we took a break but we are back at it and going strong.

This is our Language Arts board. That is Mr. Crow and he is our spelling teacher. You can see our spelling list at the bottom of the board complete with phonetic markings. (I had no idea what those meant until recently) Mr. Crow tells me the word then I tell Anya and we sound it out together using the magnetic letters. I then write the words and she copies it onto her paper.

In science today we worked on our observation skills and examined Bubbles, our new pet rock. Tomorrow we will read about what type of rock Bubbles is.

Math…… well math isn’t going so well. I'm thinking that we are going to drop formal math curriculum for a while and just work on memorizing addition and subtraction facts and making sure she can recognize all her numbers. We will also be working on her counting higher and higher along with skip counting.

Still no history. I’m thinking we will try and pick that back up after the holidays along with form drawing.

P.S. Why does spell check not recognize Mr. as a word?

PJ Photo Shoot

2010-11-14T15:30:00.000-05:00

Becky made the girls new nightgowns and they are, once again, a big hit.

Awwww…..So sweet

Giving V some dance moves.

Do the bunny hop.

Y! M! C! A!

JUMP!

Sisterly love.

WEEE!!!

and pose.

When somebody asks me why I’m spinning around, I just smile ‘cause there’s nothing to tell.

Roll 1

Roll 2

Roll 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s alive!!!!

2010-11-13T20:42:00.001-05:00

I feel like young Frankenstein. By putting together different pieces I found laying round the house I have created life! I slowly feed my new creature and watch it grow. Now it even breathes on it’s own but, its torment isn’t over. I have to rip my creature apart every 12 hours, before its feedings, to keep it alive. It doesn’t seem to hurt, at least, I can’t hear its cries.

(OUCH! STOP! I don’t want to be thrown in the garbage disposal.)

Soon, I should be able to make some smaller creatures from her. She will be the mother of my sourdough army. Yes! I have a name for her now.

Lydia!

Bawhahahaha!

Playing in the Rain

2010-11-13T13:37:00.001-05:00

We are getting back into a good rhythm here and that means we have time to be spontaneous. It started raining just after lunch, one of those perfect rains. It was enough that you could feel it but not so much that you got soaked so we all ran outside. Steve was our official photographer because he couldn't come out and enjoy the rain without his PICC line covered.

Holding It Together

2010-11-06T12:43:00.001-04:00

My intention was to write a post on keeping yourself together when everything seems to much. I have left this page open for three days and it has stayed blank. This is going to be a simple list because if you need this right now you don't need anything more clogging your mind.

Make sure you know what HAS to be done. ( I need to flush Steve’s PICC line but, cleaning the refrigerator can wait. )
Make sure everyone you are responsible for is eating.
Make sure you have clean clothing. That doesn't mean it needs to be put away. Clean is enough.
Make sure you spend at least a couple minuets each day doing something that relaxes you or that you enjoy. Don't let other people tell you how to relax. (I don’t care if reading educational theory stresses you out Steve, it relaxes me.)
Get enough sleep BUT, don’t sleep to much.

I Promise I'll Post Something Better Next Time

2010-11-03T20:04:00.000-04:00

"Posttraumatic stress disorder (also known as post-traumatic stress disorder or PTSD) is a severe anxiety disorder that can develop after exposure to any event that results in psychological trauma.[1][2][3] This event may involve the threat of death to oneself or to someone else, or to one's own or someone else's physical, sexual, or psychological integrity,[1] overwhelming the individual's ability to cope. As an effect of psychological trauma, PTSD is less frequent and more enduring than the more commonly seen acute stress response.

Diagnostic symptoms for PTSD include re-experiencing the original trauma(s) through flashbacks or nightmares, avoidance of stimuli associated with the trauma, and increased arousal – such as difficulty falling or staying asleep, anger, and hypervigilance. Formal diagnostic criteria (both DSM-IV-TR and ICD-9) require that the symptoms last more than one month and cause significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.[1]"

Wiki

PICC Line

2010-11-02T20:26:00.000-04:00

PICC lines are used so you don't have to be repeatedly stabbed and they can stay in place for up to a year. It is basicly a REALLY long IV. The only problem is that it requires constant care. Changing the dressing is a 14 step process that must be preformed weekly and if it gets wet or dirty. It also requires daily flushing and occasional cap changing. Guess who gets to learn how to do it all. YEA!!!

I wish I could

2010-11-01T21:10:00.000-04:00

Today Steve went into the hospital for 4 or 5 days. This leaves me at home alone with the kids for 4 or 5 days. This, in and of itself, is not necessarily a bad thing. What makes it bad, is that Trin has become SUPER attacked to Steve. She has been winy and crabby all day. Sadly I had to start back on my Zoloft and it makes it very hard for me to care. I'm looking into alternative methods of treating my depression for this very reason.
I want to be sympathetic but its just making me mad. It's getting hard to pretend. Some day Trin when your older and read this I want you too know and that I care and I am fixing this. I'm sorry if I hurt you.

Salmon Croquettes

2010-10-28T20:15:00.001-04:00

The calendar from the WIC office is not high on my list of places to find recipes, never the less, it was good. It tasted like Crab Cakes. Mmmmmmm and it’s CHEEP! We doubled it because it only makes 4 little croquettes. (This is the doubled and slightly altered version)

2 small cans of salmon, drained
2 eggs
1 juiced lemon
1/2 cup Italian bread crumbs
about a 1/3 of a cup of mayonnaise ( I didn’t measure it)
2 green onions chopped

Mix it with a wood spoon so you don’t mutilate the salmon. We made it about 3 hours early to let the ingredients meld together, just coved it and stuck it in the fridge until dinner time. This size batch make 8 croquettes. I put the little piles on a sheet of parchment paper on a jellyroll pan (that desperately needs a good scrubbing, need to get on that before Thanksgiving so I can make some jellyrolls) then squished them to about a 1/2’’ thick. Cook at 425 for 8 minuets then flip and cook another 7 minuets. They were good but next time I plan to…..

Add some crushed or diced garlic to the mix
Try and cook it in a pan to give it a little more golden brown goodness.

We served it with couscous, stewed tomatoes, apple sauce, and deviled eggs.

Project Empty – Veggie Soup

2010-10-26T18:11:00.001-04:00

A couple of days ago we decided to embark on “Project Empty”. We are going to eat out selves out of food. To long have those cans of salmon sat ignored in our pantry. Soon they will have their day in the oven/pan. Today we started on the vegetables in the refrigerator.

2 lb of green beans
2 bunches of asparagus
3 bag of carrots
2 questionable hearts of celery
The remnants of a bag of green onions
1 red pepper
4 ears of corn
1 rutabaga

The rutabaga, corn and 2 bags of the carrots looked like they would survive to another day so we pulled out the rest of the veggies. I put Anya and Trin down with the green beans to prep them and then when they were done I gave them the green onions and some kids scissors. They did surprisingly well. Steve and I prepped the rest of the vegetation and threw it in the soup pot. A BIG can of diced tomatoes, a can or beef bouillon, and a quart of leftover homemade chicken stock were easy. BLAND! Garlic, salt, and some mix in a grinder I found in my cupboard. But, inspiration came in the form of my Famous Onion Soup, Balsamic Vinegar. It was delicious and it will make awesome leftovers, even Anya ate it.

Alone

2010-10-26T17:51:00.001-04:00

I am soon looking at spending 4 to 5 day’s here alone. Steve will be in the hospital. It is nothing new but never before have I had forewarning. We don't live in the best of neighborhoods so the thought of being here with no man in the house, how ever skinny, scares me. I have never lived alone. I went straight from daughter to wife. In a way it will be nice, I am used to Steve being at work all day, but the nights are killer. I'm going to spend Sunday making sure the house is spotless so maybe, with Steve gone, I can find my rhythm again and carry it over to him being home. It will be better for all of us if we can keep school, house work, and food occurring regularly.

“Pumpkin” Bread

2010-10-22T21:23:00.001-04:00

While at Anderson Orchard a while ago I saw a squash. It was an odd looking yet beautiful thing all large and squash shaped with its green and yellow stripes. It called to me in it’s squashy little voice to pick it up. Some how it found its way into my mothers stack of produce and she kindly didn’t question me, just rolled her eyes at my puppy dog face and added it to our order.

It hung around my kitchen, mainly getting in the way. It spent time on the washer, the dryer, and on the floor. The kids played with it and we cursed it when it got stuck behind the door. It waited patiently, never complaining, as more urgent matters came and passed. Until Wednesday when it decided it’s time had come.

As I guiltily moved squashy yet again to gain access to my washer he leaped from my arms and cracked on the floor. The guilt ceased and my excitement increased. I promptly picked it up and smashed it again and again until the pieces could fit in my oven and there he rested for a little over an hour at 350 to soften his insides for scooping. We pulled him out and cooled him off then found our biggest spoons. No more big green doorstop, no more stubbed toes, no more weight lifting to do the laundry. Squashy golden bounty overflowed and after taking my immersion blender to it we had a puree with no limits.

Because we had more of him than would fit in our biggest Tupperware I had to think of a way to use him and fast. Chips, lasagna, or fritters? Deep fried or doughnuts? Maybe I should keep it simple. Bread. How much more basic can you get than a good old fashioned quick bread. I took his 2 cups of leftovers and mixed in 4 eggs, a cup of oil, 2/3 cup of water and 3 of sugar and beat it to a pulp in my mixer. Then I mixed 3 1/2 cups of flour and 2 tsp of baking soda with salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, clove, and ginger. My intentions were on dumping it in the mixer but Anya reminded me to go slow so I wouldn’t make snow. I sat Anya on the floor with a can of Crisco 3 loaf pans and some flour and told her to have at it. Just under an hour at 350 later, “Pumpkin” bliss and nary a pumpkin in sight.

To be continued……………………………

Anya Away

2010-10-11T11:02:00.001-04:00

Trin on a trip with Daddy, Mommy, and Vincent to the Pets Mart “zoo”.

This weekend was Anya’s first weekend away from us in a long time and it was the first time, other than Steve’s heart attack in 2007, that we couldn’t just go pick her up if she got sad. Anya is in St. Louis and we are in Indianapolis. 4 hours away. She is with my Grandma, 2 Aunts, 2 Uncles, and a cousin. She is having a blast and being spoiled rotten.

Honestly its been nice to only have 2 children at home. Steve can grab one an I can grab the other, done. No, who has number 3? The house has been quieter and there have been less squabbles between children. Oddly enough 3 minus 1 does not equal 2 when it comes to kids. On the other hand, I miss her. I am ready for her to be home. While the the reduction in noise is nice I miss having a child around who I can actually talk to. Anya is my oldest and while I know it’s not politically correct to say this, she holds a special place in my heart. I’ve known her longer and she is so much like Steve that it is very easy for me to love her.

I’m glad Anya had this opportunity. I think she was ready but, I don’t think she would last any longer. I am glad that she is on her way home right now. I’m sure she’ll step right back into her big sister role and maybe we can even carry some of the peace we have found this weekend over into normal life.

The Basket

2010-10-09T17:49:00.001-04:00

Once, long ago I was walking down a road. Next to the road was a beautiful basket. It looked nice so I picked it up. I carried it along with me for a while admiring its contents. Soon I realized that under the pleasant exterior was poop. I quickly packed it back up and placed it on the road. After a long detour to clean myself back up I continued on my road.

A while later a saw a friend on a another path, she was holding the basket. As she walked and examined it, her path came closer and closer to mine. “Friend, look at this beautiful basket I found!” I replied to her “I carried that basket for a time. I know it is beautiful but the inside is full of unpleasant things.” “Okay” she said as her path moved away again. She did not put the basket down and all I could do for her was pray as I walked.

Not to long ago that friends path came close to mine again. I saw her charging down her path, basket in hand. It was easy to tell she had spent a lot of time in that basket. Our paths didn’t quite connect this time and from her path she threw the basket at me, mad as a hornet. She pulled some of the poop off her and flung it at me too. We wished each other well, both dirty and covered in the contents of the basket, and she continued to stomp down her path. I sat down and prayed. Then I cleaned up, first my self, as best I could, then my path, and finally the basket. I quickly packed it back up and placed it back on the road. By this point I was walking by a stream of clean, fresh water and washing my self up was no detour at all.

To Hard On Myself…

2010-10-05T18:36:00.001-04:00

Stefan Gustafsson
http://stefangustafsson.com/

and on my daughter. I have been pushing her too hard. I know that my own lack of education has hampered me in almost every area of my life and I am afraid it will happen to her. In conversations with my family I have no reference to historical events. I don’t know my math facts, can’t remember any Algebra, and really have to think to name more than the basic shapes. I don’t speak any languages other than English and even that I don’t do very well.

I have decided to reread a couple of my favorite educational books to remind myself what, in reality, to expect and to inspire myself to betterment. The First book is “The Well-Trained Mind” by Jessie Wise and Susan Wise Bauer. It is based on the rigorous “trivium” education. It includes an intensive focus on reading, writing, and math in the early grades and a history focus in the upper grades. Next I plan to read a “Rhythms of Learning” which is a collection of essays by Rudolf Steiner. He founded the educational philosophy called Waldorf Education. It is a holistic method which teaches subjects when the child’s soul is most able to receive it. It also includes knitting, crochet, and wood working as required curriculum, gotta love that. I am very conflicted in my educational philosophy (Much like everything else). I am in NO way laid back about my children’s education. I intend to give them the best education possible, both in “real” and “head” subjects.

I’ve been looking at other method’s and I have learned from each one. From Robison curriculum I learned that teaching independence is important, from unschooling I was reminded not to stifle their God given talents, and from Thomas Jefferson Education I was informed that if you don’t seek to better yourself your children will never have motivation to better themselves. I fully intend to apply these lessons to my job as her teacher and as her mother.

When A Crisis Hits

2010-10-04T21:42:00.001-04:00

We have hit a hard part in our lives that we didn’t expect to come so soon. We mourned and now we need to get back to life. With Steve home full time now a strict schedule is more important than ever BUT, I can’t force HIM to conform to our schedule. The only way this is going to happen is if I take lead.

This man is awesome! This man is strong! This man has taken care of me for 6 years! Now its my turn.

I need to blog more. I know that having a record of this time in my life is going to be important. HOUND ME IF YOU MUST O’ 3 PEOPLE WHO READ! But these next few years are going to be like treasures to me and I don’t want to forget them.

This is a Test

2010-10-04T20:41:00.001-04:00

This is a test of my new posting system so I can type offline. PLEASE WORK!!!!!!

Week 2 Review

2010-08-15T22:10:00.000-04:00

This week has gone really well. Doing school in the evening has been the best choice we have made so far. She works really well at night. In the morning she wines and cries, at night she begs to do more. We are doing math and english durring the week and science on Saturday.

Anya knows all her letter sounds but 6 and is grasping math like a champ. She has sounded out a couple words with help and I think we'll start letter teams this week and focus a little on writing. For math we will just plow on until she needs to slow down.

Not Back To School Blog Hop - School Room Week

2010-08-11T10:23:00.000-04:00

School room HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

*clears voice*

Sorry, okay our school room is our bedroom. Not the kids bedroom, my room. It was the only place where we could have the school supplies so that the little ones couldn't get to them we put a book case next to our bed and a little desk for Anya next to that. Our bedroom will be VERY small when we move so I'm not sure what we we do then.

And........................TADA!!!! Including an unmade bed because we were reading under the blanket and paper scraps from Anya's snowman that she made.

Week One Review

2010-08-08T10:19:00.000-04:00

Out of 5 days of planned subjects we completed
Phonics: 4 days
Math: 4 days
Science: 5 days
History: Dropped
Sonlight Reading: WAY to much lol

It was was my fault but this is part of why we are homeschooling, life happens. Anya's stack of known letters is larger than the unknown stack and she made a connection during math this week on identifying groups of 5 or less without counting them. Science was just fun grown grass in different soils.

In other school news I have an Algebra I text for myself now and am plowing through it.

First Day of School Review

2010-08-02T15:07:00.000-04:00

(It felt right)

I'm going to have to drop history. Theres no way around it. She doesn't get it at all. We have plenty to do anyway with learning to read and all that. Phonics was review for her today, she knew all of the letters. For math we had an obedience lesson. She completely melted down and told me she couldn't count to 6. (LIE LIE LIE) After some time out and a stern talking to she finished her lesson and actually enjoyed it. For science we planted grass seeds in 3 types of soil and are charting their growth. We read some poetry out of a book called "Animals Animals" and a story about a lion and a mouse along with a old favorite, Good Night Moon. She worked on some cutting and pasting (a frog with balloons) and creating designs with geometric blocks.

We managed to get it all done by noon. I think this is going to be about normal because though I had Steve here to help until 10:15 I REALLY hope that the melt down will not be a daily occurrence.

Curriculum Week

2010-08-02T14:10:00.000-04:00

We are going to be joining in on the NOT Back-to-School blog hop this year. Week 1 is Curriculum Week. This is what we'll be using.

Lets Start With Trinity. She is 3 this school year. We are going to read through Sonlight P3/4 to help her to start develop the patience to sit still for a couple minuets at a time.

Well that was easy, on to Anya. Anya is 5 and a registered Kindergartener. She will be working on a little bit more. We are using "The Phonics Road to Spelling and Reading" Level 1

RightStart A for her Math.

We are going to read through Sonlight P4/5 again. I have a feeling its going to go really fast. We are hoping to be able to get Sonlight K soonish.

For science we are going to use the Little Professor Science Kits from the Academy of Science for Kids. We have started with the Botany 101 kit and are going to do the Earth Science 101 next.

We had planned on doing Story of the World Vol 1 but every time we try she says she doesn't understand. I think we will try again after Christmas and if she still isn't grasping it we will save it for first grade.

*There are links to all of the curriculum websites on the Curriculum page. Link at the top.

How to use a Recipe

2010-07-31T20:31:00.000-04:00

When most people want to learn to cook they buy a cookbook. After it sits on the shelf for a while they pull it out and pick a recipe that looks good and try it. They gather their ingredients and follow the recipe exactly. If they are lucky than it comes out good but more often than not their is something wrong. It's to thick, its not thick enough, its spicy, bland, raw, or burnt. They decide that they cant cook and give up.

Learning to cook is an individual process. I could hand you a recipe with extremely detailed directions and there is no grantee that it would turn out/ One bag of flour absorbs more water than another bag of the same brand. The humidity in the air can affect a recipe or the type of stove you have. The pan you cook in and how dirty or clean your oven is can all affect how a recipe turns out.

The first time you cook a new dish it is a good idea to follow the recipe exactly. It may not look right to you and unless you have A LOT of experience you might mess it up. When you finish cooking evaluate your progress. Is it bland? What spices could you add and when in the process? Is it to spicy? Where can you cut some spice out? This week I tried a new muffin recipe. They were dry little hockey pucks made of sand. The next step is to make the recipe again SOON. Include your modifications. Next time I make these muffins I'm going to add more liquid during the soaking phase and soak it longer to hydrate the flour better.

Don't expect to get it right the second time either. It took me 4 attempts to get my clam chowder to be really god and I'm still working on it. If you get stuck, find help. The Internet is a great resource but don't believe everything you read. Friends and family, even employees at a good super market can help. I have asked the man at the fish counter what to do with a certain fish.

Everyone can cook, just like anything else, it just takes practice.

Registered

2010-07-29T12:39:00.000-04:00

Well its official, we are

HOMESCHOOLERS

I must provide;

180 Days of Instruction
Attendance Records
Instruction equivalent to that given in the public school

I decided a long time age that I would use a blog for for my records. Now that I legally have to keep them I better get regular here. I have some other topics I have been wanting to write about (see previous post). I don't have an internet connection any more so I think I'l just leave blank New Post pages open and submit them as I can. Wish me luck!

Time

2010-04-24T17:18:00.001-04:00

I have so many deep thoughts. I wish I could write them all down. It normaly goes something like this: deep deep deep MOMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sigh....

Wisdom

2010-04-14T18:42:00.001-04:00

(Pics to come)
It's strange the "wise" things we age into that we originaly knew and were trained out of us.

Everyone is a potental playmate.

Sometimes you just have to let it out.

And sometimes a hug makes it all better.

Priorities

2010-03-24T19:25:00.000-04:00

I need to get my priorities strait. I am driving myself insane.

My husband - I am going to live with Steve for the rest of our life. Even if my kids end up hating me when they move out Steve will still be there.
My kids - I have been trusted with 3 amazing little people to raise up right. They are all very different and amazingly bright. This includes educating them. I do not feel right passing this enormous responsibility on to a system that failed me and my husband so miserably and is only getting worse. If it was the school systems job to make my children productive members of our world, they would have been born into the school system. In the end it is th parents job.
My home - I would love to have a spotless home all the time but I am forced to conclude that, at this time in my life, it just isn't going to happen. I have 3 children under 5. Once they are all over 5 we can revisit the Martha Stewart home.
My Other Dreams - Tho I need to visit here every once and a while to keep me sane, my non family related dreams and goals are going to have to wait. I need to accept that there will be time to get my degree in natural medicine, just not now.

Now I'm off to make up a little surprise for Steve and finish smoothing out some stuff that didn't work for Anya's school day.

And Thats Why We Homeschool

2010-03-20T19:14:00.000-04:00

Because sometimes your having to much fun reading your math book to do phonics.

Nice Errand Day

2010-03-19T21:06:00.000-04:00

Morning have been bad. lately. I think the shift to taking the Prednisone in the morning is to blame for that. It takes about 3 hours to really get moving now, I had been down to two.

(fruit trees at Walmart)

Today was errand day. We took Steve to work and got grocery's. Sun Chips has a new compostable bag. If I had the money I might have gotten one just to watch it decompose. I know I'm strange.

(compostable chip bags?)

After unloading the grocery's, to a chorus of screams, we headed back out to finish our running. It surprises me that Trin still cries everytime we drop something off at Goodwill. But the giant cow that we saw on a trailer cheered her up.

(window crayons...hehehe)

As usual, the girls loved the car wash. They love watching the cars go through the rollers. When we got home a little girl about Anya's age was moving in 3 doors down so my girls kept their girl entertained while they unloaded their truck.

(Big yard + lots of kids)

Tomorrow is another school day and Steve is off. We are going to make bread and do some learnin'!

(making bird feeders on Thursday)

(handwriting practice on Thursday)

First Day Outside

2010-03-06T19:04:00.001-05:00

We Started Our Spring Block Early

2010-03-06T13:39:00.000-05:00

While we are not doing our secondary lessons we have started setting up our garden. The girls helped dig holes, pour dirt, and water plants. We have two Rasberry bushes and started tomato seads. Tomorrow we will start our April seeds in a starter green house.

In other news my computer screen will not come on so there may not be pics for a little bit.

Trinity

2010-03-02T17:57:00.000-05:00

As Trinity is getting older she is becoming more than Anya's shadow. She is growing into an amazing young girl. She's a "No my can't" and a "I do all by my myself" person at the same time. She is smarter than we ever could have imagined. She is becoming more beautiful than cute.

Its harder to notice younger children's unique qualities. With less time one on one time it's easier to over look her subtle traits. Anya has a big personality. Massive, huge, over shadowing personality. Trinity's much sweeter. She is a good things come in small packages type. I need to work to see the three of them as individuals instead of just as "my children".

Form Drawing and Settling In

2010-02-28T16:47:00.000-05:00

I am not quite sold on the idea of Form Drawing as a vital subject. I've been looking and looking and I can't see use spending a week let alone 2 on just form drawing. I could use that time better. Give her more time it get a good grasp on her letters and numbers. Unless I have a dramatic mind shift soon I may just drop it and add a week to the first math and language arts blocks.

In other news we are settling in here in Hoosier land. The kids are not fighting the coats and boots, they wear socks in the house, and don't strip in the middle of the night. I think the built in verity in the weather out of Florida makes you appreciate nice weather more. But, I am finding I miss certain aspects of Bradenton. I miss the smell of the gulf, mixed with the smell of the Tropicana plant. I miss being able to walk to the grocery store. I miss seeing the same people over and over even tho I don't know their names. Indianapolis is so big that there is a real distinction between where people live and where the stores are. We don't see our neighbors and all the kids jump off the bus and run home. Maybe it will change in the spring. Maybe there will be other preschoolers playing in the courtyard in front of the house.

I hope we can build a community here. Hopefully on Wednesday we will be going to our first Homeschool play group and Friday to the Conner Prairie little tykes program. We are trying to find friends in a similar place in life and it has been difficult. All we can do is look to a better tomorrow.

Spring Block

2010-02-25T16:16:00.000-05:00

First thing we are going to start a weather tree. I am going to draw a large leefless tree on poster board. Each day we will add a leaf in a color to represent the weather for the day. We'll do one leef a day using whatever word the girls (mainly Anya) says as her first impression.

White - snow
Blue - rain
Yellow - sunny
Pink - cloudy
Green - windy
Red - hot
Brown - cold

Did I miss any?

The following list are our other activities. I doupt that I will be able to do all of these. I figure if I have a good list of activities we can pick what we feel like doing.

Egg Shell People
Naturaly Died
Plant a small square foot garden.
The Story of Demeter and Persephone (story)
The Rainbow and the Antelope (story)
Egg Dyeing
Blown Egg Mobile
Egg Rattles
Make Equinox Popovers
Draw plants
Color and orally label flower
Start animal sighting book
Find new growth in our neighborhood
Visit an apple orchard to see the blooms and come back in the Fall to get apples
Make a bird feeder

Race

2010-02-25T13:38:00.000-05:00

There is a race going on in my mind. I have about ten thousand things I am thinking about. We, no I need a scheadule. These everyday little disisions are running me down.

Lesson B

2010-02-16T12:26:00.000-05:00

I'm not going to set dates for these. We'll just move on when we are ready. We may even work on more than one at a time. Mixed in will be seasonal crafts, gardening, and cooking seasonal foods.

Carding and dieing wool. (lots of side activities for this one0 C1p100,101)
Rhythm (stomping and clapping games)
Start piano book
Finger Knitting
Knotting
Braiding
Knitting Loom
Make Knitting Needles
Make a bag for projects
Piano
Make a scarf
Make a calendar
Make a knit rooster and a couple hens
Piano
Form Drawing - running forms
Form Drawing - spirals
Piano
Knit doll blanket
Form drawing
Piano
?Knit Lamb?

Lesson A

2010-02-16T11:59:00.000-05:00

Lesson A will be review and reinforcement of past main lessons.

Weekly Plan

2010-02-15T13:09:00.001-05:00

Saturday - Cleaning Day - No School

Sunday - Handwork - School

Monday - Laundry - School

Tuesday - Baking - No School

Wednesday - Play Group - No School

Thursday - Grandma's - School

Friday - Conner Prairie - School

Daily Schedule

2010-02-15T12:50:00.000-05:00

6:00am - wake up, shower, breakfast

7:00am - get kids up, eat, dress

8:00am - chores

8:30am - walk

9:00am - circle time

9:30am - Main Lesson

10:30am - snack then free play

11:30am - Lesson A

12:00pm - lunch, read aloud, rest

1:30pm - Lesson B

2:30pm - outings

4:30pm - start dinner

5:30pm - dinner, pick up, bath

7:00pm - kids to bed

Math Block Number 1

2010-02-15T11:43:00.000-05:00

4 weeks - Introduction to the numbers 0 - 12

Memory verse-

One is the sun who shines above

Two is the Prince when he finds his love

The King, the Queen, and their child are three

Four are the winds that blow to me

Five am I with my limbs and head

Six is the honeycomb I eat with bread

Seven are the stars that cross the sky

Eight are the hours asleep I lie

Week 1 - Numbers 1 - 4

Week 2 - Numbers 5 - 8

Week 3 - Numbers 9 - 12

Main Lesson C1p132

Review previous numbers. Present new number drawing. Find number around house and outside. How can we make this number? (what makes 5? 1 &4, 2&2,...) Introduce Roman Numerals.

Week 4 - Review

Main Lesson C1p133

Number games and counting higher.

Math Overview

2010-02-15T11:40:00.000-05:00

Following the Waldorf Main Lesson Block format we will be doing 3 math blocks this year. Number of weeks is an estimate.

Block 1 (4 weeks)
Introduce numbers 0 - 12
   Week 1 - 0, 1, 2, 3

   Week 2 - 4, 5, 6, 7

   Week 3 - 8, 9, 10, 11

   Week 4 - 12, review

Block 2 (3 weeks)
Introduce the Four Processes
   Week 1 - addition and subtraction

   Week 2 - multiplication

   Week 3 - division

Block 3 (3 weeks)
Reinforce the Four Processes
   Week 1 - addition and subtraction

Week 2 - division

Week 3 - multiplication

Getting Serous

2010-02-13T16:44:00.000-05:00

Ok Anya is officially going to be in Kindergarten this fall. The Kindergarten round-up is this week ACK! I'm going to be getting into the down and dirty of planning out her school and most of it will be here.

On my mind...

2010-01-26T16:42:00.000-05:00

Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not; it is the first lesson that ought to be learned; and however early a man's training begins, it is probably the last lesson that he learns thoroughly. - Thomas H. Huxley

Now I have no idea who Thomas H. Huxley is but this hits home for me. I have a habit of putting things off. I put off starting dinner until the last minute even though I know it will taste much better if I let it simmer for a while. I put off putting the laundry away even though I can hardly walk through my living room. If you do it when it ought to be done its not as hard and turns out better.

Flylady (who I have followed on and off over the past 5 years) makes every Thursday Anti Procrastination (holy cow I spelled that right) day, but I am going to make this week Anti Procrastination week. From now until next Tuesday I will do it when it needs to be done, no pushing it off. Lets see how it goes.

Getting There

2010-01-21T13:15:00.000-05:00

Our house is getting there (hence the post title). I can't say we are there but we aren't far.

Because we have having to buy a car I don't know if we will have enough money to get real beds and a table right away. I'm getting cloth diapers so we can save more money each month. They will pay for them selfs in less than 5 months because Trin is going in them too and Anya is wearing them at night. No more disposables here, not worth the money.

I'm having trouble sorting priorities. *Sigh

Doors

2010-01-13T18:34:00.001-05:00

I can open my back door!!!!! Pictures to follow. Somehow my fire wire ended up in my to sort pile so I have to sort before I can load pictures on to my computer.

My Non Menu Plan Monday

2010-01-11T09:00:00.000-05:00

Lunch & Dinner

This week I am going to try something strange. I am going to try and keep my crock pot full this week. I am going to get some fresh veggies and barley, maybe some beef. I have chicken and rice and water and a little bit of frozen veggies. The one exception in clam chowder, I have to make that again. Maybe half way through the week I'll switch from chicken to beef if I can find a good cut to use. Something to try at least.

Breakfasts

Pumpkin Bread X 2
Baked Oatmeal X 2
Egg Sandwiches X 2
Pancakes X 1

What You Can Learn From A Bad Day

2010-01-08T00:15:00.000-05:00

Today was a bad day. Steve was suppose to be at work at 7. He went out and the car would not start, this is the second time. By 9 we knew that he has not getting to work today. We have exhausted everything we know and can not get the car going. We have no money to get a new car or to fix ours. We are going to have to get a new car. We can get one in a month. Ugh. No car and the bus service doesn't get to Steve's work.

Everything happen's for a reason.

patience - Things will work out, it's not like they can't. Name one thing that has never leveled out. For good or bad it levels out.
If you can't do anything about it why worry?
If you CAN do something about it, why haven't you?
What can you learn from this?

Steve is asleep and I should be too. I need to get up at 6am maybe 6:30am. I need to do me time and if I don't get it I have a much harder time staying calm and my kids need to be me to be able to keep my cool. I have been expecting way to much of the girls, they are still babies. I can't get alone time when the girls are awake. They get up at 7am so I need to get up earlier.

Love and Kisses

Well... Body after Baby

2010-01-06T10:31:00.000-05:00

(link in th sidebar)

The good.... I am eating better. Soooooo much better. I got the Wii set up.

The bad...... I haven't used it yet, I couldn't get it set up until yesterday. I don't have a scale.

Bringing My Kitchen To Life

2010-01-05T20:13:00.000-05:00

I spent today working on my kitchen. I started a loaf of bread and a sourdough starter. I also made 2 loafs of pumpkin bread from a mix. (Bad girl! But it was on clearance.) Chicken Soup from the Crock Pot for dinner but I haven't decided if I'm going to use rice or barley. I don't know what I am going to do for lunch yet. I am ready for a nap but I know the girls will want to eat.

I have finally found a place Vincent likes to be where I don't have to hold him or sit with him. He likes to lay on the floor on a blanket where he can see me working or see the girls playing. He stayed there for almost and hour and then fell asleep.

Last night was pretty bad. At 10 o'clock the girls had still not fallen asleep and they went to bed at 7. They took all of their toys and TRASHED their room. I am no longer EVER keeping a toy out of guilt. I KNOW what they with play with and what they will trash. This holiday the people who talked to me and listened gave them presents that they love, those who didn't gave stuff that the girls just throw. The throwing toys are in a spare closet and we'll see what happens to them when I am not upset.

In other news our phone is still not fixed and someone tried to steal gas from our car. The good news is it's so damn old they couldn't do it. The bad news is the took the cap, bastards.

Baby It's Cold Outside

2010-01-04T19:38:00.000-05:00

We had to do our grocery shopping today and it was so cold my face hurt the moment I stepped outside. We found a wonderful Natural Food store called Georgetown Market. Steve and I both almost cried walking around. Then it was on to Walmart to do the rest of our shopping. Steve was warned not to go to the Lafayette store because they apparently have a rat problem that they are not handleing. Yea....... so we went to 86th.

When we got home the girls played with Vincent,

then they all took naps

While I cooked a FABULOUS clam chowder from scratch.

Menu Plan Monday

2010-01-04T09:01:00.000-05:00

We plan Breakfast and Dinner. Starting next time I will have recipes for at least some of the meals.

Monday

Pancakes
Clam Chowder

Tuesday

Bagels
Chicken Rice Soup

Wednesday

Pumpkin Bread
Roman Egg Soup

Thursday

Baked Oatmeal
Crock Pot BBQ Chicken Sandwiches

Friday

Pancakes
Crock Pot Mac and Cheese

Saturday

Pumpkin Bread
Lentil Soup

Sunday

Baked Oatmeal
Home made Chicken Fingers

Lose That Baby Weight

2010-01-03T09:24:00.000-05:00

I'm joining the Body After Baby New Year Challenge. Every Wednesday I will update here. The first task it to set a goal and make a plan. I'm not going to set a weight goal because I have no idea what weight I would look my best at, so my goal is to lose weight until Steve says to stop.

For winter my plan is to Wii Fit it 6 days a week when Steve gets home from work. I will be taking Tuesdays off. I am also working on making healthier food for my whole family. I'll post more on that later.

Wish me luck.

New Year

2010-01-01T09:12:00.000-05:00

Inner work

Strong rhythms

Storytelling

sewing skills

Singing

Verses for transitions

Preparation for festivals

Baking and cooking

Wet felting

Learning a foreign language

Wet –on -wet watercolor painting

Modeling

Woodworking

Gardening and preserving food

Simple plant, animal and tree identification

Toy making

Giving back

Drawing and coloring with block crayons

Knitting

Crocheting

O-yea and posting once a week. :)

Pregnency Update

2009-08-06T18:30:00.000-04:00

28 weeks and Vincent is doing great.

Good News:
My glucose test came back prefect.
Vincent is going to be born on Oct 20, 2009.

Bad News:
I have an umbilical hernia that is kinda serous. If it gets bad it could mean an early end to the pregnancy and if it doesn't I'm going to need it surgery it fix it ASAP after. They might be able to fix it during the c-section.

2009-06-17T11:51:00.003-04:00

Dear Non-Pregnant Person,

I hope you find these guidelines helpful in your interactions with pregnant women as failing to follow them may result in serious physical harm. If you are thinking, surely she doesn't mean me- then you should probably read this twice.

1) The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is "Congratulations!" with enthusiasm. Any other response makes you an ass (including, “Did you plan this?”)

2) Through the wonders of science, we now know that babies are made ONLY by the mother and father- not grandparents. Unless the baby is in your uterus or you are the man that helped put it there, you may not ever use the phrase "my baby".

3) On the same note, unless you made the baby as defined in 2, the pregnancy, birth and raising of the child are not about you. You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it. The same goes for the name of the baby.

4) The body of a pregnant woman should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone's stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus, cervix or how they plan to use their breasts. Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman.

5) Likewise, no woman wants to hear comments on her weight- ever. A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about is pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face. Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invite her to critique your physical appearance, and you may not act offended. The only acceptable comment on appearance is "You look fabulous!".

6) By the time we are 20-30 years old, most of us have picked up on the fact that the summer is hot. We are hot every summer when we are not pregnant. We don't need you to point out that we will be miserably hot before the baby comes.

7) There is a reason that tickets to L&D are not yet sold on Ticketmaster. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may sound crazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, MIL or a host of other family members seeing their bare butt and genitals. Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents. Like everything else in life, unless you receive an invitation, you are NOT invited. This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, the hospital and the parents home. You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to "help out". If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you will be asked for it.

8) If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should clean up the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering with breastfeeding and sleeping schedules and making a woman who is still leaking fluid from multiple locations lift a finger in housework is not helping.

9) The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask for you to wait three weeks to visit, appreciate that you are being given the privilege of seeing their child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less.

I hope this helps- it sure makes us feel better.
Signed,
All Pregnant Women

Ugh

2009-05-28T17:38:00.001-04:00

I feel like a bad mommy some days. Today I spent most of the afternoon making Anya pick up toys. It has been horrible lately getting her to pick up after herself. To make that worse I super short-cuted their dinner. I made some stove stop stuffing and mixed in some frozen vegetables. Thats it. I'm tired. I need a rest. When ever I get a "break" from the kids I spend it cleaning the house. I have started thinking about what we are going to do what number #3 gets here. We get to find out what gender #3 is on Monday. My brain is just rambley and blank at the same time. I also need to get my kitchen really back up and running. :)

Never Going Back

2009-05-15T16:34:00.000-04:00

I love my laptop sorry "notebook" computer. After 2 years with a laptop I don't think I could go back. I love being able to move my computer around with me. The only drawback is battery life and that gets better every year. My computer from last year has about a half hour battery and this years model has between 1.5 and 2.5 hours. These are the cheapest laptops at Walmart, no where near top of the line. I'm hoping to make this computer last long enough that I can get a high end computer next time so it doesn't go obsolete so fast. Maybe an Alienware.

Food

2009-04-17T15:56:00.000-04:00

All I want is (in this order):
1. Salad
2. French fries
3. Cheeseburgers
4. Lemon Chicken

I want to go to Golden Coral and make a massive salad, then go to Checkers and pick up some French fries and a cheeseburger, then go to Sizzler (which doesn't exist anymore) and pick up some lemon chicken, then go home and eat it all. Then I'll go to bed.

I hate being prego.

EDIT: I found a sizzler but the closest is 2 hours away. *sad*

Illness

2009-03-12T18:30:00.000-04:00

The "bug" has hit our house hard. Anya and Steve have little coughs and Trin and I got hit hard. In other exciting news my pregnancy nausea has hit in full. Yea!!

Only In A Homeschool

2009-03-06T21:32:00.000-05:00

How can you combine learning a second language and getting in those pesky sixty minutes a day of active play?

I was trying to take a relaxing bath. Alone for 45 min and I was going to watch the next Signing Time video(I want to keep one step ahead of her on the sign language). Anya was not going to have me learning signs without her but daddy needs to know them too. So after every sign she would run out to Steve to teach him the new sign too. She did this for half an hour.

Sorry for the lack of pictures. I have been lazy.:-P

My Dot

2009-03-04T18:49:00.000-05:00

Just For Fun

2009-03-04T10:26:00.000-05:00

Get your own Family Sticker Maker & MySpace Layouts.

Sling

2009-03-02T10:30:00.000-05:00

I'm in a sling. 3 days which my husband has declared PJ days. Sorry this is so short, It is my right arm. It is hard to type one handed.

RA

2009-02-28T22:02:00.000-05:00

My RA has flared like mad. Starting Monday I am going to start a 15 rest 30 work cycle. If I sit longer than 15 I can't move and if I work more than 30 I can't move. I'm at a lost as to what to do at this point. Medication that will make me sick for the rest of my life or slowly degrading joints until I am crippled.

Week 2 Summery

2009-02-28T21:53:00.000-05:00

We completed 4 out of 6 days this week. So we hit our goal. Anya is going to need some extra phonics work, I think we are going to go the flash card route. I am relaxing tomorrow so if I don't get pictures up tonight it will be Monday, sorry.